"The Right to Be Ignorant"

“Speak English or Die!!!!” This famous line was once sung by famous 80's thrash metaler, Joey Vento, of the band, Stormtroopers of Death. Wait, that was Billy Milano, also singer for the equally tasteless band, Methods of Destruction. Forgive me, I tend to mix up my outspoken, jingoistic Italian-Americans. That said, Joey Vento would probably be enamored with said song, were he two or three generations younger.

By the way, did you like my use of the word “jingoistic” in that last paragraph? I’ll have to deposit a dime in my piggy bank. You see, because it’s a ten cent word...

Where was I? Oh, right, the column. As it stands, Joey Vento, the 68 year old owner of Geno’s Steaks in South Philadelphia, has become an unreluctant posterboy for the “Took our jobs ” anti-immigration movement permeating the country in some of its uglier moments. Vento’s “This is America - When Ordering ‘Speak English’” sign has been divisive, to say the least. It’s been displayed outside of Geno’s Steaks for quite a while now but, relatively recently, became a red flag in the city’s Cheesesteak District. What does it mean for Philadelphia? Well, practically speaking, it means very little: Geno’s customers are expect to order in English, with or without the assistance of the guy making their food. The implications, though, are much bigger.

In case you’ve been living under a rock hard Amoroso roll (bad cheesesteak pun #1), this disclaimer has caused quite a bit of an uproar in the past year and a half. And, in my opinion, rightfully so. First of all, there’s the matter of the superfluous quotation marks surrounding “Speak English.” These folks would have a fit!

Then, more obviously, the sign - sporting the John Wayne-approved combo of a bald eagle AND the American flag - has been deemed xenophobic. Xenophobic, of course, denotes a fear of foreigners, and is not to be confused with “Xenuphobic,” or “fear of the infamous space beast of Scientology.” According to some, myself included, a “Speak English” sign was not the thing this very diverse city needed during such a closed-minded and reactionary time.

The Geno’s “Speak English” sign is nothing new, though. In fact, it’s been around for quite a while. Public awareness was what did the trick in exposing it. Despite its several year lineage, the sign began to make headlines in the fall of 2006, in the face of an anti-discrimination case which was to be brought against Vento in city court. If Vento was convicted of discrimination, he would’ve be fined and, possibly, had to close shop on his legendary steak joint.

Vento describes himself as a very patriotic citizen, and he was tired of Mexican customers in the neighborhood trying to order the food in Spanish. Fox News wanted to send over their make-up crew to powder his butt for all the press attention they were able to get by running his story. Meanwhile, many people were offended, and many others offended by the people offended by the potentially offensive thing. Joey Vento, for his part, maintained that no customer had ever been turned away for not being a native speaker of the English language. For lack of evidence to the contrary, he appears to be telling the truth. The city of Philadelphia’s court system agreed, Wednesday, as charges were dropped against Vento. So, despite the close call for his franchise, Vento will be “wit’” business, rather than “wit’out.” (Bad cheesesteak puns #’s 2 and 3!)

Personally, I’ve taken an uncharacteristic, libertarian stance on this issue. After all, this is a business we’re talking about, not an institution. Not to say that “anything goes” in the “business world,” of course. (Take “that,” “Unnecessary Quotes” “Blog” “!”) I’m not for discrimination, and, were customers to be turned away, this would be a form of it. Still, I believe in due process, and Vento claimed that he’d never rejected a customer. The courts support his claim.

My advice for those struggling with the injustice, the English language, or the cheesesteak idioms? Look across the intersection. What do you see? Ah, yes...it’s Pat’s Steaks. Consumer freedom allows us the freedom to put those we don’t like out of business, simply by shopping with the nearest competitor and, perhaps, pinching a steamy loaf under the outside tables of the vendor who has lost our patronage. And hey, I certainly wouldn’t judge you for it.